17. Tree Town (Part 6)

I need to preface this post with a few things. First, please remember that this job was my first time ever being in an office environment. 

I had no idea what was normal and what wasn’t. It was my husband’s first time being on the Personnel Committee, so he didn’t know what was normal and what wasn’t.

This was our home church; this was a place we trusted with people we trusted. It’s easy to look back and see the wrongs, but it wasn’t clear at the moment. Hindsight really is 20/20.

Also, this is all from my perspective. This is how I remember things, and I will only share things that I have personal knowledge of… and it’s a lot. My intent in sharing these things is not malicious. My hope is for my own personal healing to come through sharing, to help others who may be walking through something similar, and also to bring awareness to abusive power, church procedures, and leadership that destroys people. I hope that my experience will show others who may be walking through some of the same things that it’s ok to speak up and call things out for what they are. And it’s ok to keep telling it until someone listens. I wish I had done it sooner. It could’ve saved me a lot of pain.

The church opened the secretary position to the congregation and community. They began to accept applications and resumes. These were turned into the church office and then given to the pastor. He went through the resumes and chose his top 3.

We didn’t know it at the time, but this wasn’t how things had been done in the past. The resumes were usually given to the Personnel Committee first, and then they decided who to call in to interview.

The first person they offered the job to was someone they felt would be highly qualified. She would’ve been excellent but, she declined because the job didn’t provide insurance.

The following two choices had no experience working for a church or in a secretarial position, but both were willing and ready to learn. One of them I knew through working with her during VBS, and the other was my best friend, who I convinced to apply. My friend was a stay-at-home mom. I could tell she was interested but hesitant to apply because she didn’t feel qualified. Her personality seemed to be just what the job needed. I felt like she would thrive in the position. The pastor agreed.

They interviewed both candidates. This is where things get really weird. I knew what was going on in the pastor’s mind because he talked to me about it. I knew what was going on in the Personnel Committee because my husband was on the committee, and I knew what was going on in my friend’s mind because, well, she was my friend.  

After the first interview, the committee was torn. The girl I didn’t know as well actually interviewed better because she had previously worked in the professional world. She knew how to interview. My husband said my friend’s interview seemed more sincere, and she seemed willing to learn, but she didn’t seem as professional. The other girl was the daughter of the committee chairman’s best friend. On more than one occasion, the pastor told me that this played a significant role in the hiring process.

When the committee met together after the interviews, the vote on who they wanted to hire leaned toward the girl with more experience. It wasn’t an official vote, it was just to take the temperature of the committee, so they left the meeting to pray about it for a little while. The pastor took this opportunity to talk with my husband about it. 

The pastor really wanted to hire my friend. He didn’t feel like the other girl would fit in as well so, he asked my husband to help convince the others that this is who they should hire.  

A few days passed, and the pastor started feeling confused about things. So, on his own, under no direction from the committee, he decided to interview both ladies one more time.

First, he called the girl most of the committee liked. She was already out and about and said she would stop by the church. He asked her a few questions in his office, and she answered them very clearly and professionally. He was more impressed than he was during her original interview. The pastor also had the chairman in his ear telling him that she was the most qualified, or so he said.

After he talked to her, he decided to call my friend. Unfortunately, when he called her, she wasn’t dressed, and she wasn’t feeling awake, so she didn’t answer. She lived close to the church; so, the pastor decided he would just walk over and talk to her… and he did. 

Remember how I said she wasn’t dressed for the day yet. Imagine how uncomfortable you would be if the pastor came to interview you for the church secretary position and you were still in your pajamas. Because of how uncomfortable she was, all her answers were unclear. 

The pastor said she didn’t come across as professional or even act like she wanted the job.  

So, here’s what happened next…. I was sitting in a restaurant when my phone rang. It was the pastor…He was calling me to ask my opinion on things. I told him that I genuinely liked both ladies. I felt like I could work with either of them, that I obviously would prefer to work with my friend, but it was him who would be working with this person every day, not me.  

During that phone call, I received a text message from my friend telling me that the pastor had been there, she wasn’t dressed, and she was nervous and flustered…

I couldn’t tell her that he was now leaning toward the other girl and I couldn’t tell the pastor why my friend seemed uncomfortable.

I walked back into the restaurant and told my husband what was happening. He was just as flabbergasted as I was.

I found myself in an impossible situation. I knew two sides of one story and now so did my husband. But at the time, there was really nothing we thought we could do with that information.

When my husband arrived at the committee meeting that night, the pastor met him in the hall and told him he had changed his mind; he wanted my husband to vote for the other girl instead of my friend who he had asked my husband to vote for just a few days prior. My husband questioned him again just to ensure that this was what he wanted because it was completely opposite from what he had told him before. The pastor assured him that this was indeed the decision he had come to.

The committee met that night and hired the other girl, and it was done.  

Hindsight is 20/20, right? 

Here are some things I can see looking back…

1. The process that had been in place for the church to hire employees had been bypassed by the pastor. He played a more significant role than the precedent had been set for him to play. The committee should’ve gone through each resume and interviewed the ones they thought were most qualified. It was their job to decide who to hire.  It would’ve been fine to listen to the pastor’s opinions, but it wasn’t ok for him to lead the hiring the way he did.

2. He should never have interviewed either lady outside of the committee. He certainly shouldn’t have gone unannounced to my friend’s house on a weekday morning.

3. The way he changed his mind so quickly and easily should’ve been a red flag.

It’s important to note here that the music minister’s wife wanted to apply for this job. However, she was told that she wasn’t allowed to because the church bylaws stated that a family member of the ministerial staff couldn’t hold this position due to a conflict of interest.

Later in this story, that comes into play, so make a mental note.

The way the pastor changed his mind right in the middle of things was strange. Maybe it was his lack of experience? But whatever it was, it was a decision he would regret and one that caused a lot of people unnecessary hurt and pain.

Looking back on it now, it’s so clear. I wonder what things would’ve been like if we had realized all of this then, but that’s impossible. This hiring was pivotal to the rest of the story. 

Precedents were being set that would change the church’s course of action. And, unfortunately, those new set precedents are huge in how my story in Tree Town ended.

Until Next Time,

Whitney