This was a memorable weekend. We attended the sweetest wedding and celebrated a beautiful couple. I will forever be thankful that way back in 2008, this little boy walked up to Harrison and offered to be his friend. From that day on, theirs was a friendship set to stand the test of time. Because of that friendship, we also got to know this little boy and his entire family. And we grew to love them all, and they remain amazing friends to this very day. Through thick and thin, good and bad… they are the real deal.
So, yesterday was very special. To see this little boy all grown up, marrying his beautiful bride… was a moment to cherish. And to be able to celebrate with his family made the day even more perfect.
I can’t even begin to explain how proud we are of him. The man that he has grown up to be and how he and his bride have committed their life to serving Christ… overwhelms me with emotion.
Tomorrow brings more happiness as Alayna, and I will embark on a mother/daughter vacation. We have never done this, and I’m looking forward to it very much.
We are headed to Branson for a week of fun. We’ll go to White Water, Silver Dollar City, The Sights and Sound Theatre to see Esther… I think we might visit the wax museum and without a doubt, we will spend some time at the outlet mall.
My mom and I started going to Branson together when I was about Alayna’s age, and we will continue to keep that tradition. Still, I’m excited to create a new tradition with Alayna. My mom and I have made so many wonderful memories doing this through the years. Mother/ Daughter time is important.
I’m loving that my kids are really not kids anymore. They are both adults, and spending time with them is a lot of fun.
Harrison is a bit more adventurous and will hop on a plane with me at any given moment. Alayna likes to stay a little closer home, and sometimes I prefer that too.
I love that each of my kids has a very different personality. It keeps me on my toes and gives variety to our lives.
Anyway, it’s going to be a great week.
I posted this graphic on Facebook a few days ago.
This umbrella graphic has been a hot topic lately. It was brought to light through the “Shiny Happy People” documentary on Amazon Prime. This documentary highlights the dangerous teachings of Bill Gothard and his infamous IBLP (Institute in Basic Life Principles). The documentary highlighted the Duggar family and all the scandal that surrounds them.
Unfortunately, this wasn’t the first time I saw this graphic.
It was extremely familiar to me, but I honestly have no idea when or where I saw it for the first time. I’ve seen it in books I’ve read and heard the illustration preached in sermons…
An umbrella, over an umbrella, over an umbrella…
As often as I’ve seen it, it never occurred to me that this illustration is redundant in its design, but more importantly, these ideas it represents could be dangerous… a simple drawing, but is that all that it is?
I read a Facebook post where a lady showed the illustration to her teenage son, and this was his answer… “I’m trying to formulate my thoughts properly because this is the stupidest thing I’ve seen in a very long time. How are men supposed to be protecting and provide if women are doing all the managing? The whole point of the graphic is destroyed by the physics of the graphic itself. The rain never even gets to the man, and the rest of the umbrellas are pointless” (Facebook: Sarah McDugal-Wilderness to WILD)
These were such wise words from a 13-year-old.
I decided to show the graphic to Harrison and Alayna, and their responses were similar. Harrison asked something like why the man was protecting the woman from Christ. Didn’t that make the man more important to the woman than Christ, and did that mean that man was supposed to take the place of Jesus in a woman’s life?
Alayna asked something very similar and also pointed out that wives obviously have more responsibilities and the ability and desire to do much more than care for the children and the house.
This is a perfect example of how we can see things for years, and just because someone we trusted showed it to us or someone who spoke with authority preached it in a sermon… we just believed it. It sounded good. It sounded Biblical, so we just bought it.
This graphic seems antiquated… which, for the modern crowd, immediately causes them to pause. But what if an idea is presented in a more modern way? What if a preacher or author uses a flashier graphic? What if they speak with conviction and, by doing so, easily persuade their congregation or their readers of a new idea? What if the concept seems harmless, so you think it won’t hurt to believe it? I mean, anything extra we can do for Jesus is good, right? Especially if it seems harmless.
But a simple umbrella graphic helped set the tone for what we now know is a cult. Bill Gothard used this graphic and many other ideas to convince thousands of people that he himself held the answers. He knew how to make their lives easier, better, and more fulfilled. He spoke with confidence. His ideas sounded good on the surface. What could it hurt to do these few extra things to strive toward holiness? He sold books and curriculum, charged for seminars and camps… and ultimately made himself a very rich man. He gave marriage advice and parenting advice even though he was never married or had children. He told women how to dress to remain modest and not tempt a man, all while abusing women behind closed doors.
In 2014 more than 30 women accused Bill Gothard of sexual harassment. An accusation that would cause him to lose his public position as the face of the IBLP movement. But how many more people did he hurt? How many chose not to come forward out of fear? How many husbands felt free to abuse their wives because of this man’s teachings? How many families did his teachings help destroy?
This man was effectively running a cult, and his dethroning didn’t even bring the IBLP down. It still has thousands of followers today.
With all of this information in front of you, you might say that those people are just stupid. Bill Gothard is obviously a cult leader, and the IBLP is obviously a cult. But for those on the inside, for those who bought in, they couldn’t see it.
When you are bought in, sold out… when you give your life to a cause or an idea… even if it’s a church…or a “churchy” organization… when you blindly follow a preacher, pastor, or leader…
When you are in the middle of things, it’s almost impossible to see what is really going on around you.
You can’t see the forest for the trees.
Bill Gothard scammed thousands of people. In fact, he’s still scamming them. And there are still those who will argue that there’s nothing wrong with his teaching. But you and I both know there is, and it didn’t take a documentary for us to be able to see it.
That graphic I showed you earlier may be a simple, rudimentary drawing. But the things it teaches are toxic and not Biblical at all.
I want to break down how I think this graphic is toxic, but I want to let it sit with you this week.
Think it through. Are there any redeeming qualities to the graphic? At first glance, would you think that it’s wrong in any way? Do you think the drawing is dangerous to someone’s faith, or is it just a silly picture?
I think it’s imperative that we run everything through a Biblical lens. How does this teaching hold up?
I can’t help but think back to that beautiful couple I mentioned at the very beginning of this post. I think about their commitment to serve Jesus and one another. I think back to the amazing, heartfelt speech the groom’s dad gave at the reception. In one section of his speech, he told the couple how important it was to remember two things… Honor God and Honor one another. He didn’t say the wife should honor the husband and the husband should honor God. He said that both of them should honor God and also honor one another. That distinction is so important.
If this couple goes into marriage understanding those two things and practicing them in their everyday lives… their marriage might have ups and downs, and it might have trials… it will for sure have hard times because that’s just how life is. But with God at the center, they are equipped for success.
But what about all of those families that followed the teachings of Bill Gothard? Even that simple umbrella graphic above… The husband thinks that he has to essentially be Jesus for his wife, and the wife thinks that she can’t get to Jesus except through her husband. And each of their duties in the marriage is simplified to a false elementary description.
What we are taught, no matter how simple it may seem, has an effect on our Christian walk. Let’s let Jesus be our guide. Let’s let His teachings be the ones we follow. And let us be cautious of anything else we let into our minds.
Until Next Time,
Whitney