Things have been busy around here lately. Lots of traveling along with an active farm schedule at home. Jeremy and I spent part of last week in Virginia at the Craft Sake Fest. It was a lot of fun. We have made several new friends doing this, people I would never come into contact with in my everyday life.
I have enjoyed my new “job .” I love traveling, meeting new people, and promoting the farm. I’ve said that this job gives me more opportunities to share the gospel than being a children’s minister did. I regularly find myself in conversations about Jesus and also about the church. And I have to be careful to differentiate between the two because most people have quite a strong opinion about the church.
I told a good friend that my methods may have changed, but my mission is the same.
While I no longer think like a “regular” church member, I do maintain my Christian beliefs that the gospel should be spread across the world. I don’t think that inviting people to church fulfills that mission or gathering money into a church general fund does that either. I don’t believe that building a kingdom or a country club here on Earth furthers that mission. I do believe that sharing Jesus and His love does. So, when we go to these events like Jeremy, and I attended last week, we are given many opportunities to do that, and yes, we drink sake while we do. Totally against the Baptist ways, I know. I’ve had to break through a lot of stigmas and ideas that were engrained in me.
While Jeremy and I were on this trip, we had a few extra hours one evening and chose to see the Barbie movie. Wow. I walked out of that movie with so many thoughts. And I would have to see it again to clearly and concisely write about it, which I plan to do. This movie obviously went over the top to make a point, but they did it so well. And any man who was bothered by this movie needs to do some work on themselves.
As I mentioned before, I’m working on a post about the Southern Baptist Convention and its view on women in ministry. It’s something I’ve spent a lot of time studying lately. I jokingly said after leaving the movie that the SBC should just cancel all the speakers for the 2024 convention and play this movie on repeat.
The part of the movie that stood out to me and every woman that saw the film was the speech by America Ferrera’s character, Gloria.
It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.
“You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can’t ask for money because that’s crass. You have to be a boss, but you can’t be mean. You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas. You’re supposed to love being a mother, but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men’s bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you’re accused of complaining. You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you’re supposed to be a part of the sisterhood.
“But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.
“I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don’t even know.”
When that speech ended, I wanted to stand up and applaud. There it was, in one monologue, all of the feelings women have felt for years. And that speech works doubly for women in ministry.
I said one time soon after leaving Tree Town that I wanted to write a book called “Ministry is for Men,” a tale of a woman in the SBC. I may do that yet. It’s true. The way things are set up makes it nearly impossible to be in ministry. And the SBC has gone even further this year to make it harder for women.
There is more misogyny in the church than anywhere else. And that misogyny isn’t built on Jesus’s words but instead on men’s insecurities. And so, as women, we find ourselves not only responsible for our own actions and feelings but also those of the men in the church.
As I said before, I have lots of feelings and ideas on this subject, but to let them out too early could harm the integrity of what I say. I want to give due diligence to my study and what the scripture says before I do.
Today I will just leave it at this… it’s not our job to make the coffee in the church office and serve it to the men while they sit and wait. There’s nothing wrong with a woman leading worship without a man on stage. A woman should be paid the same as a man for a job. Women should be allowed to baptize or, at the very least, be involved in the baptism of either their children or those they led to Christ, especially if she is the children’s minister.
It’s time for patriarchy to die.
“But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful.” America Ferrera
The system is rigged, and I’m not grateful.
Until Next Time,
Whitney