My daughter had the opportunity to attend Passion a few weeks ago.
Passion is a 2-night worship experience for young adults 18-25 years old, hosted by Louie Giglio and Passion City Church in Atlanta, Georgia.
I was super excited for her to have this chance to attend. Once again, I’m thankful that God brought a youth pastor into her life at just the right time. A youth pastor and wife that showed her love when she needed it the most. At a time when Tree Town Baptist turned their back on my daughter, this pastor and his wife welcomed her with open arms. So much so that even though she has moved out of the “youth” department of church and although the youth pastor has taken a pastorate at a different church, he still called and asked my daughter if she would like to join his new church on this trip to Atlanta.
Let me go over that one more time… my daughter was treated better by a church where she wasn’t a member. She was taken in by a youth pastor and his wife, who knew that she would never be joining their church… and again, when there was no chance she would ever be joining the new church he is now pastoring, he still invited her to attend. Wow, how opposite is that from how she was treated at Tree Town? When she was no longer able to do them any good at Tree Town Baptist, and when they were angry enough with me to take it out on my child, they cut her off. And in doing so, they made it impossible to be able to reach her… ever again.
Many months ago, I wrote an entire post about my daughter’s experience with Tree Town Baptist. On a random day, she received a text message letting her know that she had been removed from the youth ‘Remind’ text messaging. She was cut off with no warning and no call to see how she was or if she would be returning. That one event angered and hurt my daughter more than anything else. To receive a message telling you that you have been removed from a group charged by Jesus to reach people is devastating. Especially to a young teenage girl whose identity had been tied up in that church since she was four years old.
When I tell you that I’m done with “church” that only wants to be there for you when you can do something to further “their kingdom,”… I’m not lying. I am D.O.N.E.
I’m writing this shortly after returning home from a church service. This church is far from perfect, as all churches are, but today I felt free. I felt different. I am surprised every Sunday morning by how different I feel. I look forward to church. I’m not stressed out or wondering what someone will need from me. It feels like community and friendship and all the things… But I have to pinch myself and wonder when the next shoe will drop. To say I struggle to trust a church is an understatement.
When I sat down and started typing, I didn’t know all that would come out of me before I finally got to the point I was hoping to make.
This conference, Passion, that my daughter attended…
She was so excited to go, and she had many stories to tell when she came home. She loved everything about it.
She brought a book home to me called “Winning the War on Worry” by Louie Giglio.
She was excited to give it to me because she knew how much I loved the things that Louie Giglio does.
Now, I know that Louie Giglio isn’t perfect. I know he’s a man who makes mistakes… he’s human. I don’t follow him closely enough to keep up with everything he does, writes, or speaks about. I’m sure there are areas where I would disagree with him… but he will always hold a special place in my heart. My daughter knows that because she was sitting with me the night, Louie delivered the message that helped me realize it was time for me to quit my job as Children’s Minister at Tree Town Baptist.
My daughter attending Passion brought back all those memories of that night. I’ve told the story before but feel led to tell it again. It has been on my heart and mind all week, but I’ve just found the time to sit down and write it out.
October 2019… I was tired. I was broken, I was angry, depressed, physically sick… I was empty spiritually… I had reached my end. I was almost sure I should quit my job… but I attended this Children’s Ministry Conference in Nashville every year. Every year I returned feeling energized and excited for a new year of children’s ministry. I had a full workload when we loaded up the car and headed to Nashville that year. I worked on the Trunk or Treat event while my husband drove. My son attended the conference with me the previous year, and my daughter attended it with me this year. My husband had an unexpected few days off, so he drove us to the conference and paid his way.
As we drove to Nashville, my mind was busy with everything I had to do. Still, my heart was hopeful that this was just what I needed… this conference was just what I had been praying for… Finally, finally, I would find my energy once again… I could do this… God wanted me to do this…
I struggled with the breakout sessions on the first day of the conference. They weren’t giving me all the feels like normal. Instead of being excited, I felt like any idea I took back to Tree Town would mean more work for me. I had never felt this way before. Again, this wasn’t my typical experience at this conference.
I attended all the breakout sessions with my favorite speakers… I had participated in this conference for several years, even before taking the children’s minister position… I knew which ones to attend, but they just weren’t speaking to me the same.
Something wasn’t right, and I knew it.
But… Louie Giglio had always been a motivating speaker. So I just knew that hearing what he had to say to all of these people in the ministry would be just what I needed to hear.
And it was…
When Louie began to speak, he said that he felt led to share something different than he intended… something different than he had prepared…
I’ve looked through YouTube, hoping to find a link to the sermon he shared that night, but I can’t find one. I took extensive notes that night… I’m a natural-born note-taker… I take notes on almost everything… and it has come in handy for writing this blog.
He launched into a story about his time in Waco, Texas, at Baylor University, where he had started a college ministry that was thriving… it was where he was supposed to be. He couldn’t imagine doing anything different with his life…
And then his dad got sick, and he lived in Atlanta… and through a series of events, God called Louie Giglio to eventually start a church there which is now Passion City Church.
What he was doing in Waco wasn’t wrong or bad, but God had something different in mind for Louie… something bigger than he could ever imagine.
Louie listened, God moved, God worked out His plan, and because of that, eventually, years down the road, my daughter was able to experience the works of that ministry.
I just remember sitting in that convention center that night and crying. What was God asking me to do? Surely he wasn’t asking me to leave behind children’s ministry… I had worked so hard, I felt called, I was invested…
But that’s precisely what God was calling me to do.
And that call from God eventually took me away from more than Children’s ministry… it took me away from “friendships,” community, and people I loved… God closed a lot of doors… He made it clear that my job wasn’t all we needed to leave… we needed to leave the toxic environment at Tree Town. We needed to realize that Christianity was so different from what this country club church was portraying… This was not what God had called us to do… helping to build the kingdom of Tree Town Baptist wasn’t it… God had bigger and better plans… plans that would bring us to our knees…plans that would challenge everything we had ever known…
I’m not saying that God will lead our family to plant a church that will grow to the size of Passion City Church in Atlanta… I’m not comparing our gifts to those of Louie Giglio or even putting Louie on a platform that he doesn’t deserve… I’m just saying that God used Louie’s message that night to show me that God had different plans for my life.
And sitting here today, after leading worship with my kids… something I never dreamed I would have the opportunity to do… leading with my parents and friends… finding purpose once again in ministry… I didn’t see it coming… But God did….
Until Next Time,
Whitney